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Responsible Gambling Council

Welcome to the friend4friends website--the place for real friends.

If you are worried about a friend's gambling, you have come to the right place.

What is Problem Gambling?

A person has a gambling problem when he/she loses control over their gambling, increasingly spending more time and money. Losing control leads to negative outcomes for the gambler, their friends and or the community. It can affect anyone of any age or sex from all levels of society.

Most people are able to gamble occasionally and control the amount of money and time they spend. Betting on a sports game or going to a casino every once in a while does not mean someone has a problem. What sets a person with a gambling problem apart is that they become so consumed with gambling they neglect themselves and other parts of their lives.

For the most part, gambling problems do not happen overnight. The person with a gambling problem likely started as a recreational gambler. As the problem progresses, relationships with friends and family suffer, school, work and social obligations are missed, bills go unpaid. Despite negative consequences, a person with a gambling problem will keep gambling. They may not even fully realize how consumed they are with gambling until the consequences become too large to ignore.

Consequences for People with a Gambling Problem

Mental Health Problems

Feelings of depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, loneliness, isolation, disappointment, reduced self-worth, loss of control and suicidal thoughts

Physical Health Problems

Insomnia, stomach problems, headaches, neck and back pain and other stress-related health conditions

Substance Abuse

Tobacco, alcohol and drug use may increase as gambling increases

Social Problems

Such as lying, manipulating and verbal and physical abuse

Financial Problems

Increased debt, overdue bills, bankruptcy and more

Legal Problems

Theft, forgery, fraud and violence

School and Work Problems

Absenteeism, reduced productivity, missed opportunities

For friends and co-workers

Negative impacts for friends and co-workers can include:

Being Manipulated

Into lending money to person with a gambling problem

Being Lied to

People with gambling problems often lie to cover-up their problems

Verbal and Physical Abuse

Leading to strained relationships

Financial Problems

Loans to people with a gambling problem often go unpaid

WHAT IS CONSIDERED GAMBLING?

Gambling is defined as an activity where a person risks something of value on an uncertain outcome with the hope of increasing wealth or personal gain. You can see from this definition that gambling can take many forms. If you think that gambling is only done in a casino or around a poker table in someone's basement, think again. Playing bingo is gambling. Betting on a sports game is gambling. Buying a scratch and win or lottery ticket is gambling. Betting on video games is gambling. Even high-risk investing can be called gambling.

Why do people gamble?

People gamble for a lot of reasons. Most hope to win money but don't really expect to win. They gamble for the fantasy of the big win, a mental holiday or as part of a night out with friends. . It becomes a problem when it is done too much and negatively affects other areas of a person's life, like school, work and relationships. When this happens, gambling is no longer fun or recreational.

Age, Gender and Gambling

Believe it or not, the simple truth is the 18 to 24 year old age group has the highest proportion of people with gambling problems. Students and the unemployed in this age group have above-average rates of gambling problems.

It used to be that men gambled more. Today, the numbers are equal. Men tend to prefer games like sports betting and poker. Women prefer games that like bingo and slots. Although with the popularity of poker those preferences are becoming increasingly blurred.

If you feel you know someone with a gambling problem and you're thinking that because they're smart: they have no problems, they'll figure it out. Not necessarily. People can lose control over their gambling, and may need the help of others to regain control.

PROBLEM GAMBLING AND OTHER ADDICTIONS

One in four individuals with severe gambling problems also feel they might have drug or alcohol problems.

When comparing those who don't gamble with everyone that does, even a little, gamblers have a higher tendency smoke cigarettes, have more alcoholic drinks per occasion, and use illegal drugs. It appears that the more problems a person has with gambling the greater their use of alcohol, tobacco and or illicit drugs.

GENERAL STATISTICS

QUESTION: How many people gamble in Ontario? ANSWER: 83.2%.

QUESTION: How many people in Ontario have a moderate to severe gambling problem? ANSWER: 3.8% or 340,000 people.

QUESTION: What age group has the most people with gambling problems? ANSWER: 18-24 year olds. In Ontario, 7% of 18-24 year olds have a moderate to severe gambling problem.

QUESTION: What are the most common benefits of gambling according to 18-24 year- olds gamblers? ANSWER: The most common stated reasons for gambling include the fun and entertainment, to win money, and to socialize.

QUESTION: What percentage of 18-24 year-old gamblers have gambled while drunk or high? ANSWER: In a study conducted in 2001, 33.2% of 18-24 year olds reported gambling while drunk or high.

QUESTION: What percentage of 18-24 year olds know someone with a gambling problem? ANSWER: About 30% of 18-24 year-olds know someone with a gambling problem and 15.1% of them have a family member who has had a gambling problem.

QUESTION: How much do Ontarians spend on gambling each year? ANSWER: In 2002/2003, each adult spent an average of $550. QUESTION: How many people call the Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline each year? ANSWER: 154,000 people called in 2002/2003.

ODDS OF WINNING

People who develop a problem with gambling often have false beliefs about their powers to control the games outcomes. They may believe they have some system that can 'beat the house'. The realty is that most gambling outcomes are purely random. It is true that some games like poker do rely on a certain amount of skill and more skilled players can do better than less skilled players. But, a person with a gambling problem will consistently overestimate their true ability to control the outcomes.

Almost 50% of adults from one Ontario study believed that staying at the same machine slot machine improves their chances of winning or that a random looking ticket (i.e., 5, 8,24,32) has a better chance of winning than a sequential one (i.e., 1,2,3,4).

In pure games of chance the outcome is completely independent of previous outcomes. If that weren't the case casinos would be out of business tomorrow. Take a coin flip for instance. If you flip heads 5 times in a row what will you get on your 6th flip? Did you say heads? Tails? The correct answer is that no one knows. It's completely random. There's absolutely no way of being right.

Those who are experiencing gambling problems are more likely to believe there is a greater chance of winning after a losing streak and that a system increases their odds. It doesn't. Remember, the odds aren't in your favour. Ever!

BARRIERS TO GETTING HELP

Addressing a gambling problem is never easy. Some of the reasons that may get in the way of a person addressing problems are as follows:

• They may feel that they can handle the problems themselves.
• They may not feel that a gambling problem is a "real" problem
• The urges to continue gambling may be too strong. For instance, the person may view gambling as the only way to recoup losses and get rid of their problems.
• They may not know that that there's help available to them.
• Friends and family may continue to bailout the gambler, making it easier for the person to continue gambling.
• Past attempts by the individual to reduce or quit gambling may have failed. The person may believe that there is nothing they can do about their problem.
• Embarrassment and shame may prevent the individual from seeking help.

The good news is that there are great numbers of people who can tell you that they have successfully recovered from a gambling problem.

Also a recent survey of people with severe gambling problems shows that they are more likely than other types of gamblers to turn to their friends for help instead of professionals or family. The first thing you can do if you feel you have a friend with a gambling problem is to educate yourself and be a friend.

TYPES OF HELP

Some people with concerns about their gambling are able to make positive changes on their own. They may quit gambling all together, or make changes to the amount of time and money spent gambling. For most, changing gambling behavior is easier with support from family and friends, or from services such as those described below.

The Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline

Offer information about services and support groups. The Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline is toll-free, anonymous and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Calls are all free.

Individual counseling

Trained, well-informed professionals, can provide:

• An environment to learn about gambling, get support and motivation to change
• A safe place to talk about difficult emotions
• Increased self-awareness and an understanding of the relationship between gambling and other personal issues
• New ways to think about and cope with stress
• Referrals to other supports such as debt counselors

Support groups

Meetings, such as Gamblers Anonymous, where people attend on a drop-in basis and are under no obligation to share information can provide:

• A sense of belonging, friendship; and a break from isolation
• Feedback, encouragement, and support from peers in a non-judgmental atmosphere

Residential gambling treatment programs

A more intensive treatment for people who have an overpowering compulsion to gamble can provide:

• A controlled environment with no opportunity to gamble
• Individual counseling
• Intensive therapeutic support to understand the consequences of problem gambling, as well as strategies for personal change
• A break from the pressures of day-to-day life, an opportunity to figure out what needs to change, and support for making real changes that reduce the pressures to gamble.

MYTHS ABOUT GAMBLING

Myths and Truths

The fact is that in the long run gambling will cost you money. There are beliefs that can make people believe that they can influence the outcome and win.

Myth: If I keep gambling my luck is going to change. I'll win back the money I've lost if I just keep gambling

Truth: The outcome each time you gamble is completely independent from any other time, so your odds are no more in your favour on your first bet as they are your tenth. Over time, risking more and more will only create greater losses.

Myth: I almost won. This means that I am due for a win.

Truth: Just about winning does not mean that a win is around the corner. What happens in the future is in no way influenced by a near win.

Myth: If I play more than one slot machine, or in more than one poker game at a time I'll increase my chances of winning.

Truth: Sure you win more often playing two machines or two poker games versus one. But make no mistake, you also spend and ultimately lose more doing so. Remember, the more you gamble, the more you lose.

Myth: My strategy will help me win. For example, picking certain numbers for a lottery, pressing the button of a slot machine at exactly the right time.

Truth: The outcome of all games is random - you cannot influence the outcome. The winning number selection is random and independent from previous draws, so betting the same weekly numbers won't help you win. In fact the odds of winning the Lotto 6/49 are 1 in 14 million each and every time. Slot machines are computers and outcomes are the result of randomly drawn numbers that determine where the reels will stop before they're even set in motion. It doesn't matter when you pull or press.

Myth: If I see a certain number coming up often in a poker game, I should bet on it because chances are, this card will be dealt again very soon.

Truth: There are 2.6 million possible hands in a 52-card deck. Since each hand is independent from the last, the chances of a certain card coming up again are no greater than the chance of any other card coming up. In fact, the chance of the card coming up is no more and no less than the chances it had when it first came up.

Myth: I have a feeling that this is my lucky day.

Truth: Hoping, wishing or needing to win has no influence on the outcome.

FINANCIAL ISSUES

Handling debt

Helping a Person with a Gambling Problem Control Debt

Problem gambling can often lead to large debts and even bankruptcy. Fortunately there are ways to get debt under control and keep money protected.

The first thing to remember is that no situation is hopeless. There is always a way out. Worrying and panicking about finances does not help, in fact, it can be a trigger to gamble again.

If you are faced with excessive debts or know someone who is, here are a few steps that can help to get the debt under control.

• First, don't gamble to try and get out of debt
• Take responsibility for the debt – set a reasonable budget and start to pay off the debt
• Talk to someone supportive and trustworthy about your problem
• Ask someone trustworthy to look after your bankcards and credit cards for a period of time, destroy them if needed
• Limit the available amount of cash on hand
• Have your wages automatically deposited into the bank
• Use bank accounts that require two signatures for withdrawals
• Cancel any credit lines
• Set up daily withdrawal limits
• Pay bills electronically, not in cash
• Talk to a debt counsellor

For more information visit the Ontario Credit Counselling Association by clicking here. [Links to http://www.oaccs.com/]

Protecting your money from a person with a gambling problem

If you know someone with a gambling problem it is a good idea to protect your money, especially if they have access to your house.

• Do not rescue the person with a gambling problem by offering money to pay off debts – this allows the problem to continue
• Keep track of all money spent and money owed

Talking to People with gambling problems

If you are a friend of a person with a gambling problem, it is only natural to want to help. But helping can be very tricky. They may deny they have a problem or even refuse to talk about it.

That's why you need to be prepared. You may want to ask a mutual friend or family member to help. The most important thing you need to remember is that you cannot stop your friend from gambling. They need to want help before they'll accept it.

If you think you have a friend with a gambling problem you should speak with someone knowledgeable about it. Don't try to help until you've spoken with someone you can trust like a counselor, teacher, doctor or parent. It's important to know the facts about what your friend is going through. You don't need to reveal who your friend is, but you do need to talk about the issue and generate a plan of action.

Here are some things you need to consider while deciding how to approach a friend with a gambling problem.

Get Informed

Gather information about how gambling problems develop and about the necessary steps for recovery. You need to know where they can turn for help if they want it. You could even offer to go with them. This may make getting help easier and will show you really care.

Don't Hide the Problem

People who make excuses for a gambler or lend them money aren't helping. They are really allowing the problem to continue by not addressing it. While giving in to the lies and demands of a person with a gambling problem may seem easier, taking a firm stand will give a person with a gambling problem no choice but to face their issues. Leave the responsibility and consequences of the gambling to them.

Choose the Right Moment to Talk

If the person with a gambling problem is expressing remorse about gambling or if they have just finished a gambling episode, they may be more open to talking about the issue.

Speak in a caring and understanding tone. If the person with a gambling problem rationalizes their actions, be prepared to bring up facts (i.e. missed bills, work, etc.) or to end the discussion. Keep the discussion focused on behaviour. Let your friend know how their activities are affecting others, including yourself, but don't attack them.

It is also helpful to express feelings from an “I” point of view as this will make the gambler less defensive and reduce the likelihood of arguments. If there is a chance of violent or abusive behaviour, caution should be used to ensure the safety and well being of everyone involved.

If your friend agrees that they may have a problem and are willing to seek help, give them the number to the helpline or local gambling counseling agency. Have it handy. If they are afraid, then offer to go with them to seek help. Be prepared to follow through with all offers to help.

Set Boundaries and Be Supportive

Becoming angry or condemning a person with a gambling problem may just drive them back to gambling. Problem gambling is a serious matter. You may find it helpful to set fair, yet firm boundaries, such as taking control of their finances, until the person with a gambling problem is back on track.

Get Yourself Help

Finding a safe place to share feelings and sort through emotions can be a tremendous help. Even if the person with a gambling problem chooses not to seek help, friends and family can get support to make their situation better. Don't give up. Keep the best interest of your friend in mind at all times. Every chance you offer to help is an opportunity.

Do's and Don'ts

DO

• Seek support and educate yourself
• Recognize your friend or family member's good qualities
• Stay calm when discussing gambling and its consequences with them
• Realize the need and time it may take for their recovery
• If no one else can, ask to control their finances

DON'T

• Lecture, accuse, preach, or get angry with your friend and family member with a gambling problem
• Act as though you are a better person than them
• Threaten or give ultimatums unless you plan to follow through
• Gamble with them
• Exclude the person with a gambling problem from activities
• Expect an immediate recovery
• Lend money to, or bail out the person with a gambling problem
• Deny or make excuses about the problem to yourself, family or others

Tips for Safer Gambling

Tips for Safer Gambling

For those who choose to gamble, there are some general principles that can help to make gambling safer and reduce the risk that problems will occur.

Don't Think of Gambling as a Way to Make Money

The bottom line is that gambling establishments, like land based casinos and Internet casinos are set up to take in more money than they pay out. This means over time, you will lose more money than you win. But, remember it's not just casinos, all forms of gambling have the same principle — the vast majority lose so that a very small minority can have big wins. Virtually all people with gambling problems hold the false expectation that they are the ones who will be the big winners. That belief feeds the problem.

Always Gamble with Money That You Can Afford to Lose

Gamble with money that you set aside for fun, like going to the movies or going out for drinks. Never use money that you need for important things, like rent, bills, tuition, etc,

Set a Money Limit

Decide how much money you can afford to lose before you play. When you have lost that amount of money, quit. If you win – enjoy, but remember it won't happen most of the time.

Set a Time Limit

Decide how much time you can afford to spend gambling. When you reach that time limit, stop gambling.

Never Chase Losses

If you lose money, never try to get it back by going over your limit. This usually leads to even bigger losses.

Don't Gamble When Depressed or Upset

It's hard to make good decisions about gambling when you are feeling down.

Balance Gambling With Other Activities

It's important to enjoy other activities so that gambling doesn't become too big a part of your life.